When Did We Become So Cruel?
Seriously, when did we, as a society, become so cruel to others who we don’t like or who we feel are shallow celebrities?
Chrissy Tiegen and John Legend lost their child at roughly 5 months pregnant, and it is astounding to me what people have and are saying to her about it. Obviously, I don’t know her personally, and I don’t really know if she’s a nice person or not. With that being said, I can’t even imagine the pain and agony she and her family are going through with the loss of a child. I truly can’t. Miscarriage is a horrifying thing for so many women to go through, and I imagine it’s worse to be in the public eye. So many are bashing her for sharing her news, but why shouldn’t she share her news? If she didn’t, smut magazines would be contemplating and guessing what happened and making so much more out of what is a tragic loss. If she didn’t, fans would be clamoring for attention on social media, asking her for updates, saying they deserve to know. Instead, she did what was a very brave thing and was very open about the loss and the struggles she had leading up to the loss, and she’s being criticized and berated and just treated horribly for doing so.
Here’s the thing, miscarriage, along with many female reproductive issues, topics, etc., is still highly taboo in society. We don’t like to think about women losing babies before they’re born, we think it’s sad and depressing, and we don’t talk about it because of that. But it’s something that affects 1 in 4 women. That’s right, read that again. 1 in 4. My grandmother suffered three miscarriages. She eventually had to adopt all of her children because she unfortunately couldn’t have them on her own. One of my friends miscarried her child soon after announcing it, and then went on to give birth to a healthy baby later on. A family friend miscarried three times and gave birth three times. There is no rhyme or reason to miscarriage, other than it happens and it happens more than we’d like to admit. And it’s painful. It’s a true loss, especially for the mother who may face questions like what did I do wrong, and why is this happening to me. I can say without ever having experienced it that the loss is traumatic and horrifying.
So why are we being so cruel to her? Why do I go on Twitter and see horrendous things written about her and her baby online? Why do people feel it’s acceptable to post these things about people they don’t know? I’ve never been a fan of the “trolling” that happens on the internet, but lately, it is getting more and more disgusting. I don’t care if you hate her, I don’t care if she somehow insulted you or your family member. She lost a child. A CHILD. She is suffering in a way so many cannot imagine and she is being open about it, she is starting important conversations and making others aware that it happens, more than we’d like to think about. And some people are being downright cruel because they can. Because they can hide behind their usernames and the internet and get away with it.
This behavior, this is why so many people are struggling to see the good in society. This hatred towards others that we don’t even know, this cruelty, this is not a good side of people, this is the side that makes us struggle to see the good in humanity. I know the trolls are often the ones getting the most attention, so let me end with this. I am blessed to be surrounded by good people who don’t feel the need to bring others down by posting cruel things online. I am so happy that I can see a good side to humanity as well, that I see her fans and friends posting about praying for her and offering her words of wisdom and kindness during these hard times. I’m blessed that I’ve seen people offer to help others during their hardest times in my own life.
So Chrissy and family, I am praying for you. I pray that you will grieve and be blessed to have known your angel for the 5 months that you did. I pray that God comforts you during this time and that you come together as a family during such a tragic loss. And finally, I pray that we as a society can work on practicing more kindness. 2020 has been an emotionally and physically taxing year, a year full of sadness, grief, anger, anxiety, patience, and love, yes love. I hope and pray that as a country and as a world, we can be more kind to others, that we can act with kindness in our hearts. I know I’m not perfect, and have been unkind in the past, but it’s something I’m working on. I work on it every day and try to remember that you never know what people are going through in their lives. This could be the hardest day they’ve had to live through, so just try to be kind.